Ghosted

I was excited, nearly breathless with anticipation. This was something I’d wanted for a long time. I had debated and debated and had finally decided I was ready. He was to arrive at my door after he got off work and he promised to message me when he was on his way. All communication had been online up to this point, but I was confident he presented no threat, that he’d be exactly what I needed. I had put on make-up and had exchanged my usual yoga pants and hoodie for jeans and a sweater. This was important.

But as the evening wore on, there was no word from him. No knock at my door, no message, nothing. By 8:00pm, I’d decided he wasn’t going to show. Indeed, he did not. I was disappointed, but maybe a little relieved.

Oh, you think I am talking about a date? NO. I’m talking about a drywaller. I had the equipment to do the repair myself and had done small drywall patch jobs in the past, but this one was intimidating me. I found this drywaller’s contact information on my town’s Facebook page and he came highly recommended on that page. He is even friends with one of my Facebook friends. The drywall patch I needed done was just over a foot square, and I understand that most skilled tradesmen are reluctant to take such small jobs, but he had readily agreed to help me out and had responded very quickly to my request. He even requested pictures of the area that needed work and agreed that he would start the job the very same evening I had contacted him after he got the pictures. He seemed committed. He seemed reliable. I was relieved that I didn’t need to tackle this project on my own.

In talking to neighbors and friends – heck, from my own experience – I know that it is getting more and more common for contractors to simply not show up. I don’t understand this. Sure, I get it that things come up, that they unexpectedly run over on a job and can’t make it on time, or that they second-guess the profitability of the job after accepting it. These things happen. What I don’t get is the failure to drop me a quick message saying he’d changed his mind. I’m local, he’s just starting out in the business, and I often recommend good service providers to my neighbors. I’m an understanding person and wouldn’t have held it against him if he had decided not to take the job if he had only let me know.

I didn’t reach out to him to see why he didn’t show up. This is where it is like dating. If a date ghosts me, I don’t contact him to see why either. I am truly debating letting the drywaller know that he inspired this blog, though. Nah….

I don’t want to write it off as a generational thing, but maybe it is? Or a male thing? Or is it that tradesmen are generally poor communicators? I hate to stereotype, because that’s hardly fair.

The morning after he didn’t show up, I tackled the job myself. I have to say, it turned out just fine, and I’m not out the money I would have paid to have a professional do the job. I still resent that I put on make-up and real pants for nothing, but I’ll get over it.